Chapter - 3
3. Depth
underneath an ocean :
On the same night, after that conversation
on a call with Ram, I felt it strange that ,for such a reason they felt it as
some magic word called Love. I questioned
myself "Is it really love? How did they
notice it?. Did Manasa also
love her boyfriend in this way? Does this small word have such powerful
meaning? Why am I thinking about Manasa now?"
Why did i start
thinking about Manasa ,when the point was around love?.
I was thinking
deeply and remembering her face in mind, and started falling asleep
slowly. The next day as
usual, I woke up and went for jogging, even then I was unable to stay feel peaceful, as
again I started thinking about Manasa in depth , I was worried about my future. For almost 30min I
started asking myself "Why am I thinking of her? Is it attraction or
love or liking? Then I started feeling guilt and thought of my parents and
their struggles". I went to home and got freshed up. This got repeated
for almost a month. After, nearly 1
month, I stopped thinking about Manasa.
I woke up
late and got freshed up, as usual. Mom
made my favourite
Dosa and I had them
peacefully. I thanked God for such amazing food and this life and then went to
college. We four people met in canteen and I was staring at Ram and about his
feelings ,what he told me, a month back. Ram and Deby got so close that they
started bunking classes and were sitting in canteen. Manasa also got busy with
her boyfriend on calls. These three people started planning out and I'm the
only one who is single. But I do, mostly spent time in home only by browsing
internet for cool apps, developing apps, singing songs, and playing guitar.
Then came, the mid holidays for 1st semester. It was for 1 month, some of my classmates
migrated from their hostels, while others went to their home as a part of home
sick holidays.
I can't go
anywhere as I'm local. I started using social networks day and night, sticking
to internet almost 14 hours a day, while remaining 10 hours to sleep and eat. I
started chatting with Manasa on Twitter and Facebook. She doesn’t come online
as much as she can but don't know, she came online for 4-6days regularly. I
started doubting if everything was fine and asked her "Is everything going
fine?". She replied "Yea!
a kind of". I said "What
does that mean?". She replied
"Hope you know about girls very well?". I said "I'm a kidoo I don't know
anything". She said "Rahul said that he doesn't
like me now, and since we aren't happy together, currently we decided to stay
away from each other". I was like wondering, they both were in love
from 2yrs, and they should have been close together and understood very well,
but she said she isn't happy with him. I said to myself "Holy shit! These people
will never change, if she wanted to leave him, why did she love him? Ok, she
did, but why didn't she think of it before only" but I didn't tell her all these as it
might sound, a little old .
I said "Oh! Ok do what your heart
tells". She started sharing about all her matters with me, she also
told about ,that “Rahul got
another girl, he is in love with her and he started ignoring me, I don't think I'm beautiful but why is
he in need of another girl?". I
said "you're
beautiful, but by heart ,any real men doesn’t care about face, beauty, He wants a girl
who loves him unconditionally and love is not all about face, beauty, body and all... Its all about caring,
sharing and mainly understanding". I started talking about her positive attitude, we both
started pairing up in friendship and I felt good that I got a good Friend. Now,
Manasa and Rahul planned for break up and Ram also was , aware about it as he is a regular customer of
Manasa's calls.
She shares
everything with him, about her life and incidents. Ram tried a lot, convincing
her about love, he also put a thought to adjust with him. But I'm a type of
practical, so I told her before, that "If
you want to hold a knife tighter, it cuts your hands deeper", so do
what you feel, never listen to others. I gave her some confidence and hope
levels that she can achieve greater things if she determines and she can build
her career. On a fine day, since it
was a holiday ,we all planned for outing to
some park, Ram informed me via call and said to meet him in outskirts of
city.
He also quoted "We both will be in the park
by 9 o'clock and you people come in time". It was a message that Ram
and Deby are going together. Immediately I rang up to Manasa and informed, she
said that she has some work with Rahul outside. She sounded like she was in
trouble, anyhow I got ready and for the last time I called Manasa, she didn't
answer my call. I got some type of strange feeling that something was wrong with
her and went to her home.
I knocked the
door, no one replied. I rang the bell for almost 10-15 min, and thought to
leave the place, I turned back towards my bike. Then I heard the sound of doors
opening and turned back, it was Manasa. I saw her eyes somewhat red, with dark circles below as if she didn't sleep for almost 4-5
days. I've asked her "what happened?, why are you so dull?; come on now
get freshed up, let’s go to
park. She said "No! I
can't come". I asked
her, "Is your health
okay? ." She said "Yeah! I'm all ok, I just need
some time to make myself easy and peaceful and she started walking towards kitchen.
She asked "You want coffee?". I
told "No need!" by showing my anger.
She was in
kitchen and her mom had left for office. She was preparing her breakfast with
tears rolling. I went to her and asked "What
happened Manasa? Why are you crying? Why didn't you answer my calls?". She
told "Sorry, I didn't hear it". I couldn’t wait and said her "For God sake please tell
me why are you crying?". She
started crying more hard and hugged me suddenly. I too wrapped my arms around,
tapping her shoulders and said "What
happened to our cute little doll, I never saw her crying before?". She
replied "Rahul told
about breakup to his parents, I too informed about it to mom".
Then mom said "Go to
hell! You kids never listen to parents and always take some wrong steps and
blah blah blah..!!". She continued saying , “Mom didn't wake me up, she didn't prepare my breakfast and she didn't even talk
to me from the time I woke up ". I told her, "Its ok Manasa it happens,
they are your parents and they will scold you for the wrong decisions and for
anything wrong".
Then she
questioned me "So loving
someone is a wrong decision?". I said "Na, its actually a crime" in a sarcastic way. She started
smiling and I asked her to get ready for outing. She took almost 1hr to get ready,
I was sitting on sofa in hall and started playing games in her laptop. She came
out with "Blue top with
net shaded hands, black leggings, blue ear rings and red coloured wrist watch”. She looked gorgeous in her special
dress. We started heading towards the park, we reached there by 10:30am. By the
time we reached Ram and Deby were already in the garden, they started
commenting on us, as we were late.
Ram started
asking Manasa reasons behind it, I told him, "Leave
it Ram, will catch them later", cause if she starts explaining it,
again she will cry and we would end up this day thinking about her condition.
First we went for rides like, jumbo wheel, Car dashing etc, and at last
swimming. We managed to have dinner in a nearby restaurant, we moved towards
our homes. Mom and Dad asked me to reach home safe before it’s late. As we live
in a city, here traffic reaches the peaks, so it was a hint for me that I would
reach home only by 11 o'clock. It was already 8pm, I started on bike with
Manasa. Ram and Deby started before us and I
guessed them to reach home early as Ram is a fast racer and he drives so fast
that its almost seems equal to a bike racer. I told Manasa "If you're not comfortable
tell me, we can go by cab".
She replied "Nothing like that I like to
go on bike". She sat on
bike and she placed her both hands on my shoulder for support. We started
heading towards her home, its 48kms far. We saw the beautiful city streets and
finally neared her home.
She asked me to stop at a junction and I parked my bike near some medical
store. I asked her "Why
did you ask me to stop?". She
said "If I go home with
you, mom will scold me, so better you leave me here and go". I said "How can I do that? And that
too at such late night". And I said ok I'll walk with you till your
home as a stranger. She said ok that's fine. She was in front of me walking and
I was walking slowly and watching her shadow, some idiotic people were standing a little far and she saw me, I
felt like ,it’s a sign to come closer; and I went beside her. She started
smiling and I told her “Don’t
worry, I’m here only”. She
pulled my right hand and grabbed it with her left hand, I didn't tell her
anything and I started walking too closer to her. A dog walked towards us
barking in the street, I told "GO
AWAY" to that dog, but
it didn't go. She said "Snoopy
go home! And the dog moved slowly ".
I laughed so hard
at that situation and we were near to her home. She started pulling her finger
from my hand and I felt like it’s gonna be sunset
for me, sun is leaving earth as its going to be darkness all over. I waved Good
bye to her and she said nothing to it. Suddenly
she ran back to me and hugged me so tight this time saying "Thank you for this awesome
day!". I stood like a statue and what I said next to it was like a
bunch of surprises, I said "I
love you Manasa" with
no fear of heights. I was blank and I didn't even wait for her reply. We both
left hands and hugs, She went to her home with a surprised expression and I
went towards my bike with a weepy face.
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